Thursday, March 13, 2003

 

"Molinos de Viento"

So, I am happy to say that I was wrong, and I was to delete yesterday's post, for obvious reasons. In a way, I am glad I didn't. Why? Maybe because I pulled up the lyrics to the title of this page, and even though it is not my gratest entry (though some say it's arguable), it's still a part of what I am. A screw-up? Maybe so, but it doesn't change the fact that it is still me.

I didn't want to spend, or rather waste my Flagship Page Title, but alas... I felt really bad, and what is worse is that I felt like that based on my own account and conclusions. Today's conclusion? There are quite:

• One: Mr. Sirius Black is almost always right. He has his moments.
• Two: I am my own worst enemy.
• Three: I hate my worst enemy, just sometimes.
• Four: Don't use up your flagship page title until it is absolutely necessary.
• Five: Do come up with new and innovative ways to repeat the flagship title... like Sagas or such.
• Sixth: Last but not least, never ever underestimate the power of communication.

Today after work, I purchased a new cd. Mägo de Oz - Finisterra. I am really hooked on these guys from Spain. Mainly because Mulder showed them to me (although my little sister, Imo~chan, showed me these guys a long time ago) and they serve as moral support when we work out. Speaking of which, I think it's coming along better... I have seen little improvement, you'd laugh if I told you, but I've seen it. Maybe it was all of the cluttered sadness and rage working there. Whatever it was, I need to exploit that to my advantage. Oh, I was so obsessed yesterday, before going to sleep over their album: "La Leyenda De La Mancha" which is based on Miguel Cervantes Saavedra's "El Ingenioso Hidalgo Don Quijote de la Mancha". An excellent album and highly recommended especially because of track # 5 "Molinos de Viento" Or "Windmills".

The reason I bought Finisterra and not La Leyenda, is the fact that I just discovered La Leyenda, whereas we listen to the first three track from Finisterra's second disc, Fiesta Pagana and El que quiera entender que entienda. Speaking of which, while on the way home from work today I worked out great alternate lyrics to the latter... switching a few words here and there fit my situation to a "T". So, I have nothing to do and the bus rides are long... yes, I realize how pathetic all of this might sound and how poor I must seem to you. Well, whatever.

I love the violins working alongside the guitar... doesn't sound like country, which I dislike, but like elvish tracks... not quite. Scottish, Irish maybe? Ah, who knows... certainly not me. And for tonight I think I should wrap this up... if I keep it up I'll be quite sleepy tomorrow... I shall type up the lyrics tomorrow. For now I have to go to bed. I'm not sleepy, so I will take on Roland's journey again, all while I listen to my newly purchased album.

Yes, I promise I will explain things... soon. When I have some time, I will.

For now, I just ... well, sometimes when I wake up, I feel that dreams are reality.

-Dreamy Icarus PS. Life is indeed strange, pleasantly strange and delicious, rich and full of... everything!

MOLINOS DE VIENTO
Música: Mägo de Oz – Letra: Txus

Que trata del diálogo que establecen Sancho y Don Quijote después
de la famosa aventura de los molinos. Don Quijote  confunde unos 
molinos con unos gigantes. Sancho le recrimina por su alucinación 
y Don Quijote le explica que él no ve con los ojos, sino con el 
corazón y la imaginación.

Si acaso tu no ves
Mas allá de tu nariz
Y no oyes a una flor reír

Si no puedes hablar
Sin tener que oír tu voz
Utilizando el corazón

Amigo Sancho escúchame,
No todo tiene aquí un porqué
Un camino lo hacen los pies

Hay un mundo por descubrir
Y una vida que arrancar 
De brazos del guión final

A veces siento al despertar
Que el sueño es la realidad

Bebe, danza, sueña
Siente que el viento
Ha sido echo para ti

Vive, escucha y habla
Usando para ello el corazón
Siente que la lluvia
Besa tu cara
Cuando haces el amor
Grita con el alma
Grita tan alto
Que de tu vida, tu seas
Amigo el único actor

Sí acaso tu opinión
Cabe en un sí o un no
Y no sabes rectificar

Si puedes definir el odio o el amor
Amigo que desilusión

No todo es blanco,
O negro: es gris
Todo depende del matiz,
Busca y aprende a distinguir

La luna puede calentar
Y el sol tus noches acunar
Los arboles mueren de pie.

He visto un manantial llorar
Al ver sus aguas ir al mar

Bebe, danza, sueña
Siente que el viento
Ha sido echo para ti

Vive, escucha y habla
Usando para ello el corazón
Siente que la lluvia
Besa tu cara
Cuando haces el amor
Grita con el alma
Grita tan alto
Que de tu vida, tu seas
Amigo el único actor

Dante Sparda posted this at 1:39 AM.

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

 

"The Real Folk Blues"

THE REAL FOLK BLUES Words By: Yuho Iwasato Vocal: Mai Yamane

Romanji

English Translation

Aishiteta to nakeku niwa Amarinimo toki wa sugite shimatta Mada kokoro no hokorobi wo Iyasenu mama kaze ga fuiteru Hitotsu no mede asu wo mite Hitotsu no mede kinou mitsumeteru Kimi no ai no yurikagode Mo ichido yasurakani nemuretara Kawaita hitomi de dareka naite kure The real folk blues Honto no kanashimi ga shiritai dake Doro no kawa ni tsukatta Jinsei mo waruku wa nai Ichido kiri de owaru nara Kibouni michita zetsubou to Wana ga shikakerareteru kono CHANSU Nani ga yokute warui no ka KOIN no omote to kura mitaita Doredake ikireba iyasareru no darou The real folk blues Honto no yorokobiga shiritai dake Hikaru mono no subete ga ougon towakagiranai The real folk blues Honto no kanashimi ga shiritai dake Doro no kawa ni tsukatta Jinsei mo waruku wa nai Ichido kiri de owaru nara

Too much time has passed by to lament that we were deeply in love The wind keeps blowing, while my heart cannot heal all the tears in it Watching tomorrow with one eye while keeping the other on yesterday If only I could peacefully sleep in the cradle of your love, again Someone, cry for me with parched eyes The real folk blues I only want to know what true sadness is Sitting in muddy water isn't such a bad life if it ends after the first time Despair filled with hope  and this chance with a trap set What's right or wrong? It's like two sides of a coin How long must I live till I'm healed The real folk blues I only want to know true happiness is All that glitters is not gold The real folk blues I only want to know what true sadness is Sitting in muddy water isn't such a bad life if it ends after the first time

And, so I wait. Again and again for what seems like an eternity, a second in time, a lifetime in reality. Waiting, for her shadow to appear. For her smile to dawn on me and her voice to caress my ears. With just a few words my soul would find the strenght it lacks, the spirit it needs to stand up and do it all; everything all over again, if only she would say the words.

Was I not doing well yesterday? Ah, maybe so, but not today. In the spirit of a true Gemini, my mood swings are rather wild. I kid you not, if this was something I could control, I'd try. Close people will find this normal in me, but am I so beyond it? Well, no. I think I am rather 'normal' at least as far as we can stretch that word. For what is worth, I am not on medication or the likes. Though some people seem to think I need some, badly.

That's one of the things I hate the most: One little punch and it all comes crashing down, tumbling down, tumbling down. No, I think I am not yet fit to talk about it all, but as many of you have guessed, yes. It is all over a girl. Oh, don't look at me like that. Isn't it always the same? Well, if it isn't, then what are you doing here? Stop reading and leave, yes you. No, I didn't mean that. At least I don't think so... just that I am not cheery enough to write 'bout the one piece of gut left in me that needs extirpating.

What, my heart? Oh... damn.

I didn't just say that, did I? Damn, I think I have. And you know what's worse? I don't know if I should be at all, for all I know, this is just a misunderstanding, one of those "Stranger things have happened" coincidences. Or maybe not... maybe Mr. Black is right, and I shouldn't assume things just yet. All I know is that I feel awful and maybe I shouldn't or whatever, but... it is just the way it is, and that's the way the story goes, on and on, forever stretching out before my very eyes, until the end of time. *catches his breath*

A little drama, anyone? Come join and serve yourself, I've plenty to share. Sure, it is not like I broke my arm, or worse, my leg... And yet, this does feel harder... 'like a ton of bricks', to quote someone really silly. Take your best bet, because my friend, nothing's a sure thing in this evil and sad life. At present time, I am sitting here... waiting... annoying my roommate/housemate with Cowboy Bebop Jazzy-Blues-ly type of tracks. Heat's on, it's way too hot and it is way to late to keep on lamenting.

And still, I wait. I always wait... I think I was born waiting. I wait for better things to come, and I've learned to be patient. In recent days, I've learned not to wait too much and to be one of those: 'just out with it!' kinda person. I don't know if that works... I'm still getting the hang of it, and can't say wether I suck or just need more practice. I tend to go for the latter, but damn, that's just my null-self-esteem doing the talking as usual. Just when I think I'm someone with real value and self-worth, something will always come kicking me in the head and throwing me down my private little hole I've dug throughout the entire flash that I like calling: "My Life".

I always wait, wait for someone to arrive, for someone to come, for someone to tell me 'good night', for someone to say: "I love you, too,". But guess what? No one ever does. I don't know if that will change, or if I will have to do the change, or if I have to change.

All I know... is that for tonight, I can no longer wait.

-Metal "I only want to know true happiness is" Icarus
Dante Sparda posted this at 12:17 AM.

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

 

"The Northern Eye"

...but I digress. Not all that glitters is gold, Icarus. Not all that speaks, tells the truth. Not all the actions speak louder than words.

I honestly wish I could take more punishment, instead of lagging behind or having these wild mood swings. It would help and it would spare some people the actual boredom of having to talk to me about crap. So, I have you, my silent wall, to talk to. As if silence was really what I needed. It's because of silence that I feel this way.

You know what? I can't do this, not right now. I'm sorry. I'll do this later, hopefully.

-Mobius

Dante Sparda posted this at 7:10 PM.

Sunday, March 09, 2003

 
Butterflies in the stomach, Heart pounds, races. A rather audible clearing of throath can be heard. Hands tremble as words determine fate. Silence, -complete-. ...unexpected outcome! Life sure has its fair share of twists and turns.... Life is... good! What do you know...? No thoughts, just getting over the shock, -Mobius PS. Is that a smile I see on your face, Icarus?
Dante Sparda posted this at 11:54 PM.

 

"Road To The West..."

What's your cowboy bebop theme song? Damn straight.

Road to the West is one of my fave Cowboy Bebop songs, you should take the test, and when you get your result, I can hook you up with the track that comes up in mp3, how does that sound? Yes, I am nice, aren't I? Actually no, I'm not, but my mood somewhat spreads to other people and Yohko Kanno is the main composer when it comes to Cowboy Bebop Music, she produced the Seatbelts! So, I'd like to spread her genius to you, my friends. I was also hoping to get The Real Folk Blues, but I didn't get it. I did it again to see what other songs were featured and guess what? I got Blue.The first one's the one that counts though, and I'm happy with my result, because it's accurate.

There was a party yesterday, people from work. Apparently, a lot of people got drunk. As usual... just once I'd like to attend to one of those and see how bad people get. One guy missed me, as he asked why I wasn't there yesterday. "I had a date," Was my answer.

I tell you, it was hard to keep my poker face straight. I kid you not, sometimes it's hard to lie. Can you imagine ME on a date? Please...

You know what is worse? The past couple of days, it's been rather hard and straining. It just has been... ever since I started working out I have felt awful. The exhaustion afterward, the soreness of my broken soul, er... bones, the aching all over. It's tough. You know what's stranger? Alfred, Mulder and Marcos are all telling me the same thing, how cool it feels to have your body aching the next day, how awesome it feels that it is working.

Well, it's NOT. At least for me. I don't want to come off as a whiny, little brat (though you may already think that of me, and I blame you not) but the only good thing I've felt so far is accomplishment, that I am doing something to make things right, and if not right away, then at least better. Getting the feeling that you're alive and that you could do things that you didn't think you could do is great, but the aching, oh, the aching...

You know why I feel this way? Because I am exhausted, just too damn tired. After work (yes, I am writing this at work) I might go to my parents' and just rest. Or if it's empty like last week, I would probably go 'home' and once again, rest. I need it. Badly.

Why does it feel like the weight of the world? Because I have problems, you know, everyone does. Nothing out of the ordinary. Huge problems, little problems, what not... But I didn't use to be so tired, so while it was my psique or my soul that was exhausted, my body wasn't. And now my body is and I'm constantly going over my problems, it feels like I can no longer cope and bear with the weight of the world in my shoulders, being as tired as I am.

Damn... even now, I am sitting here, thinking, typing... waiting for another call, and I fell asleep just now. It was hardly a minute.

At work, calls always come, no question about that.

At home, I sit and wait by my phone, waiting for calls that will never come. -Icarus See you, Space Cowboy...
Dante Sparda posted this at 12:05 PM.